What Do Moms Actually Need To Hear
When I became a mom I had no idea what I was getting myself into. You’ve probably heard the phrase “nothing will ever prepare you for being a parent”. It’s absolutely true. Another thing I found to be true was that people will give you a lot of advice both solicited and unsolicited. How do you filter through it all when you have no idea what you’re doing to begin with? If you’re a mom. I recently saw a video online where a woman was on a flight headed to her bachelorette party. One of the flight attendants asked for all of the married women on the plane to write one piece of advice, something they wish someone would have shared with them, on a napkin. By the end of the flight the bachelorette had dozens of advice to take home with her. This got me thinking, what are some things that moms (new and experienced) don’t want to hear but actually need to hear?
1. There’s no such thing as work-life balance.
Those two things being perfectly balanced is impossible. When speaking with another mom about this very thing she used the words work-life harmony which is better suited and more realistic as harmony equates congruence versus equality. Often as a mom, or even as a woman in general, it can feel like you’re spinning 20 plates all at once trying not to let one fall to the ground and shatter. Set some plates downs, give some to others to help you carry, and maybe even consider throwing some away.
2. You don’t have to be superwoman.
I received this advice last year and it struck me to my core. We are often praised and given kudos for being able to do multiple things at once, wearing many hats, essentially keeping those plates spinning I spoke about in the point above. When things in our life aren’t going well we know how to “keep it moving” donning our cape and a bright red “S” emblazoned across our chest. What should be celebrated is taking a break when we need it and prioritizing our mental and physical health.
3. You’re doing a great job.
As a mom in any stage of parenting, whether that be raising a newborn or entering the empty-nester stage we want to be validated. Personally, there have been times when I felt like my boys didn’t get the best of me. I’ve wondered if I’m doing right by them. During a recent podcast interview Tabitha Brown said, “You can do it different” explaining that we don’t have to adopt the same system(s) our friends, mothers, grandmothers, etc do/did it. Over the last three years I’ve learned that I can create my own way and forge my own path so to speak. You can do it different and that’s okay!
There are many other things I could list here. For the moms reading this, what I pray you take away is that you are heard, seen, and valued. You are important….EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
