Carrying The Weight
As a husband and dad, I REALLY love coming home after work to see and spend time with my family. Typically, Raven wants some face-to-face time to connect, Zaire wants milk or a diaper change (as all newborns do), and Ziggy wants to play with his toys. Right now Ziggy is in this Paw Patrol phase where playing with his Paw Patrol cars while watching Paw Patrol is one of the things he really enjoys. This past week, he wanted to play Rescue Ryder with his toys. I’m sure my Paw Patrol parents have experienced their kiddo make up Paw Patrol missions with their toys. We rescued Ryder, which turned into rescuing Chase, then Marshall, followed by rescuing Rubble! All the Paw Patrol pups were saved that day like it was church on Sunday morning. Ziggy and I played hard. Then I had to share the 5-words that I’m sure every toddler hates, “Let’s get ready for bed!”
The first part of our bedtime routine is putting toys back where they belong. A great portion of Ziggy’s toys go in his room. He picked up his Paw Patrol cars and lined them up against his wall like he was supposed to. In addition to those toys, he also had this large fire truck that’s seen in the picture above. While in the process of carrying this fire truck from our living room back to his bedroom, he said “Daddy it’s heavy!” In my mind I initially thought, son it’s not too heavy because you’ve carried it before. Then something told me, help him carry the truck. I helped him carry the truck back to his room, and he was extremely grateful for it. We went on to finish our bedtime routine as normal. As I laid him down, he said, “I want you to stay!” He’s never asked me to stay with him after getting in bed. It was then that I realized the power of carrying the weight. Here are 4 things I learned about carrying the weight from Ziggy and his firetruck.
1. Carrying the Weight Builds Relationship. Previously I viewed picking up toys as a Ziggy task. Something that Ziggy does to get ready for bed. I’ve never viewed it as something that we can also do together. Could this be part of the reason why he doesn’t like to pick up toys as much as he likes playing with them? Possibly. What if I as a dad viewed pickup time as an opportunity to serve him and lead with a raised thumb vs watching him and leading with a pointed finger. Me carrying this fire truck led to Ziggy wanting me to stay with him a little longer that night.
2. Capacity Changes. I’ve recently started to lift weight again in the gym. I noticed that on my bench press that, I currently don’t have the strength to lift as much as I did in previous stages on my life. The most I’ve been able to bench press was 225 pounds. I am nowhere near benching that currently. In fact what I currently can bench press is irrelevant to this blog. Don’t judge me haha. 225 pounds didn’t suddenly weigh more, my capacity to lift it changed. Could it be that although Ziggy has lifted this fire truck before, his capacity to lift it in this moment changed for various reasons such as fatigue. Possibly. In this moment I learned that I could do a better job of gauging and assessing his capacity. In some moments he may need me to carry the weight. Other times he may only need a spotter. As a dad, I have to be prepared to do both.
3. Help Is Healthy. Pride is one of the most destructive things in life that hinders growth. It keeps us from being teachable and learning. It also keeps us from asking for help. Asking for help isn’t weakness. In reality, the ability to ask for or receive help is actually a strength. It implies there is a better, quicker, or an easier way to do something. Asking for help also implies that there is a goal in mind that you don’t want to and, in some cases, can’t do alone. If Ziggy was prideful in the moment, he could have tried to carry the fire tuck to his room and dropped it on his toes. Then I’d be writing about 4 ways to expedite a trip to the ER with your kid. He didn’t compromise or put his health in jeopardy by simply saying daddy this is heavy and receiving help.
4. Look for the Weight. We have all experienced the weight of the world in our careers, relationships with people, our health, finances, you name it. Knowing what weight feels like is something that we all can relate to. Me knowing what weight feels like as a parent gives me the responsibility to not only look for the weight but to lift the weight.
The weight this week for Ziggy was a firetruck but as he gets older weight could come in various forms. Are you like me and can do a better job of carrying the weight or being a spotter for your kiddos? Maybe it’s the weight of self-identify, self-esteem, or confidence. It could also be the weight of navigating friendships or excelling in school. Weight could also take shape in the form of anxiety, loneliness, and even depression. I encourage you all that your efforts to carry the weight will not only build relationship with your kid, but it just may be the catalyst to success. Lead and love with excellence, and parent in purpose!